10 Reasons Why A Big Age Gap Between Kids Is A Wise Idea

Age Gaps Between Children

Age Gaps Between Children

Originally published at Mothering.com

Age gaps between children: It’s something many parents weigh carefully as we plan our families. How many kids should we have? Should we have them close together? Should we have them far apart?

The reality is that there is no perfect age gap for every family; each option comes with pros and cons, and parenting is always both beautiful and challenging anyway, regardless of how many kids you have or how close or far apart they are in age.

I’m a mother of two boys. One is nine years old, and the other is three. My experience having kids six years apart has been a good one, and I’d like to share the benefits.

There are benefits to having kids closer together as well. This isn’t a fabricated “mommy war” issue where one option is inherently better than the other, but there are positive aspects to different approaches. It’s not better than, it’s just different.

I once happened upon a discussion where a mom was struggling with fertility after having her first baby years before. She was concerned that her eldest child would suffer from not having a sibling close in age. She worried that her child would be lonely, that her kids wouldn’t be close emotionally, that somehow their family would be lacking.

Several mothers joined the conversation to share those concerns and said they’d never want to have kids “too far apart.”

Thankfully, multiple people chimed in to say otherwise. Women who had large age gaps with their siblings commented to say that they were close to them. And mothers whose kids were far apart in age stated that their kids are happily bonded and attached. I hoped the discussion alleviated any fears the mom felt about having kids further apart.

Having a large age gap between children isn’t for everyone; what works for one family might not work for the next. There are benefits to having kids close together, too. For example, kids who are close together in age often have a built-in playmate and close friend in their sibling. Having babies close together, then moving on past the newborn and toddler stage offers some unique freedom to families who are ready to be done with diapers and carseats. Having kids close together allows you more time to have more kids, if you want a large family.

Some parents simply enjoy having lots of young children around, and the joy it brings is perfect for them. I think it’s especially obvious later in life, when the kids are older and have more independence, and the final result is a large, close-knit family. It’s lovely. But it’s not for everyone.

Here are ten benefits to having a large age gap between children:

  1. It can be easier on your body. This isn’t always the case — some research shows that having pregnancies closer together can actually lower the risk of preeclampsia. However, waiting for at least a year or two between pregnancies has its benefits. Research has found that pregnancies less than 18 months apart were associated with the “highest risk for poor maternal and child outcomes.” Pregnancies less than six months apart are associated with placental abruption. Less time between pregnancies is also associated with uterine rupture after cesarean birth.
  2. It might be better for your mental health. If you are someone who experiences anxiety, depression, or other issues which affect your mental health, know that a larger age gap can lend to a calmer household. Some people can thrive with noise and chaos, but a busy household full of the sights and sounds of early childhood doesn’t give much time for decompression. If a relatively quiet space is occasionally important to you, consider a larger age gap. One study showed that the stress of having kids close together can negatively impact the quality of parenting.
  3. Toddlerhood can exist as its own entity. Toddlerhood is notoriously difficult because of the changes happening in your child’s brain. They grow more independent and quickly learn that they can do interesting things, but those things are not always safe and the word “no” loses its power fast. They have the physical ability to get into cupboards or tear down grocery displays or touch the outlet, but they don’t have the impulse control or emotional regulation to respond with reason most of the time. Having one toddler at a time can help assure that they get the attention needed to ease frustrations.
  4. The older child gets to do all sorts of secret fun stuff. My nine-year-old has had to exercise his maturity many times: waiting even though it was his turn, giving up a toy to an irrational toddler, letting his little brother play Go Fish however he wants to this one time. In return, he gets to stay up after bedtime and make S’mores in our backyard after helping build a fire. He gets to do three-day sleepovers with grandpa which are full of treats and fun times he doesn’t get at home. He gets to stay up late reading in his own room. He is paid back in full for his patience and flexibility as the older sibling.
  5. Only one kid in diapers at a time! This one speaks for itself. Multiple little ones means multiple kids in diapers.
  6. Older kids can do their own carseats. Carseat safety is super important, and also carseats can feel like a huge pain in the butt when you have multiple kids to buckle and unbuckle, especially in the winter. Having some years between kids means the older ones will likely be able to help themselves in the car.
  7. Larger age gaps allow for privacy and friendship. One of my closest friends has kids with a similar age gap as mine, and the friendship between our kids is awesome! Our older children get to go around the block to the playground together, play in the yard in their secret clubhouse, have sleepovers, and be in their own rooms — all without having to share their time or space with their younger siblings. We keep the little ones entertained elsewhere, and the big kids get to foster their friendship without interruption.
  8. You might get more sleep. By the time I had a newborn again, my oldest was able to get himself to sleep. He didn’t need naps, he didn’t need a strict bedtime, he goes to bed peacefully and sleeps when he’s tired. Having only one kid co-sleeping at a time = more rest for mom!
  9. Less bickering overall. My kids don’t fight over toys or which movie to watch or who gets what plate for dinner. My three-year-old is currently feeling particular about such things, and my nine-year-old gracefully works around it. We talk about brain development and how his brain is different than his little brother’s, how it’s easier for a big kid to forgo the sacred blue plate than a little kid. When my second was born, my oldest was old enough that we never had to deal with the baby being hit or handled roughly. The age gap helped eliminate sibling rivalry as well.
  10. The kids will likely be close friends, eventually. My oldest was six when his brother was born. His newborn brother might not have been much fun to play with at first, but it was enchanting to watch our baby grow and change, then become more conscious and aware, then suddenly turn into a roughhousing little dude who is ready to rumble. It’s true that my oldest had to wait a while for that built-in playmate scenario to arrive, but now that they are nine and three, it just keeps getting better and better. They wrestle and my nine-year-old keeps it safe. They play imagination games together, they read together, they snuggle. They are good friends and I have no doubt their adorable relationship will continue to grow over time.

Overall, what matters most is that the kids we have are loved and cared for. Family planning is a personal decision, and no one answer is right for everyone. How many kids do you have? What are their age gaps? How did you make the choice? Share your stories below!

Age Gaps Between Children

54 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why A Big Age Gap Between Kids Is A Wise Idea

  1. Love this! My oldest is 10 (boy), the middle is 6 (girl), and the baby is almost 4 months old (boy)! They are just precious to watch. My oldest has turned into this mini-dad figure and is melts my heart!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s very well written. I really needed to hear this as I have been feeling discouraged lately because we will have a similar age gap between our children. My son just turned 4 and with being a full time working mother it’s so stressful! I think next year we might start trying as I’m feeling more and more ready every day.

    Thank you again!

  3. В© 2021 Swan Land Company Take La Hwy 865 about 4 miles North of Winnsboro, LA to this very versatile property. Approximately 3/4 mile 3700 ft Frontage on Courthouse Road offers the potential for Home Site s or Commercial Development with ample pasture, wooded areas, and productive soil for crops. Such flexible properties… В© 2021 CoStar Group As local expert I also have access to North Florida Land for sale before it hits the market and can show you more information that are only accessible in the MLS. If you would like to set up a time to go over your real estate needs, please free to contact me at your convenience. There is no obligation and or pressure… I hope to hear from you! Join host Allen Treadwell and the Hayden Outdoors crew plus landowners across the country as we bring you exciting adventures on the land with the most amazing properties for sale and learn what it means to broker these magnificent properties https://isakshamdemo.shemonsoftware.com/community/profile/meganheading094/ If you’re looking for a specific type of cheap house, use our helpful filters to find a house that won’t break the bank. You can still buy new houses built recently, but you should go for older ones for the best value. Keep in mind that properties with guide prices will be cheaper than those without, so use this to your advantage when looking for cheap houses for sale in the UK if you want to see how much money you can save by buying a second-hand property instead of a new one. Find properties for sale by price: all at low prices. This is the vacuum LeBlanc said he wants to fill, claiming that PadSplit is simply a supplement to an inadequate public response.  Find your dream home in Portugal But the affordability restrictions that came with this federal money expired after a few decades, allowing residents to put their co-ops on the housing market and effectively removing the limits that kept them affordable. Once this happens, per-unit costs are free to increase and fluctuate with those of the surrounding properties.

  4. Most laundromats have oversize front-loading washing machines that can safely handle a wet rag rug. In addition, these machines are generally elevated, so unloading a wet rug is easier on your back. I have tumble-dried hand knit rugs successfully in laundromat dryers. You can also stop the dryer before the rug is completely dry to take it home, shape it and let it dry flat. Hire a pro for a deep cleaning every few years. In between, vacuum regularly and deal with spills ASAP. If the dyes are colorfast, dampen the area with a sponge dipped in seltzer, using as little liquid as possible. Blot with a white cotton cloth, then sandwich the stain between two towels and stand on top briefly to remove excess water. If the dyes aren't colorfast, use a mixture of four parts cold water and one part white vinegar, or sprinkle cornstarch on top and vacuum after 24 hours. https://run2promotion.com/forum/profile/rogeliocorral3/ CottageCare is a cleaning company in Columbia that was founded in 1988. The company has dozens of additional locations in the United States and Canada, and its team is available to clean the client’s kitchen, bathrooms, common areas, and bedrooms. The team cleans smudges from windows, makes the beds, sanitizes sinks and toilets, empties trashes, removes cobwebs, and vacuums carpets and rugs. It also hand washes tile and wooden flooring. Professional house cleaners working for Seattle Simply Clean service Seattle, Bellevue, and King County homes. Available services include recurring maintenance, carpet, upholstery, before and after party, and office cleaning. Standard house cleaning includes removing garbage and recycling, and teams use green cleaning products. The local company is a Cleaning for a Reason and Washington Toxics Coalition partner. A majority of Seattle Simply Clean’s clients have pets in the home.

  5. Bovada is the best site for sports gambling, and is one of the few sports gambling websites that accept bitcoin, and allow you to place bets using bitcoin. With choices of all 4 of the ‘major’ sports, Bovada also has options for 31 other sports leagues, and some other options such as political betting and “Numbers Games’ which is just a 3 number lottery that re-rolls every 5 minutes. The best withdrawal system goes to 7Bit Casino and Ignition Casino who stand above the rest as they have no fees when withdrawing from your account. Most gambling sites have a withdrawal fee, and this is to keep their customers from withdrawing, and instead keep gambling on their site. So having no withdrawal fee is a huge plus as there is no ‘penalty’ for wanting to take out your winnings. The best withdrawal system goes to 7Bit Casino and Ignition Casino who stand above the rest as they have no fees when withdrawing from your account. Most gambling sites have a withdrawal fee, and this is to keep their customers from withdrawing, and instead keep gambling on their site. So having no withdrawal fee is a huge plus as there is no ‘penalty’ for wanting to take out your winnings. https://grailoftheserpent-forum.com/community/profile/siobhanfabinyi/ The ever-growing online gambling industry – evaluated at about $75 billion at the time of writing, the global online gambling market is expected to triple by the end of the decade – is prone to take advantage of new technologies, especially if the tech is as hyped and efficient as blockchain. South Africa has some of the strictest online gambling laws in the world but, fortunately, none of them pertains to gambling in offshore-based gambling sites. This means that South Africans can choose among a plethora of first-class gambling hubs that provide generous bonuses and have a superb assortment of games. Is going to be back frequently in order to inspect new posts, there is a problem with split Aces in the current version. Furthermore, few betting sites that accept Mastercard for deposits also allow Mastercard withdrawals. Free slots game downloads for android the software that runs the slot machine will make sure to track all of the pay lines and issue the proper payouts, including the most popular version ball bingo. When I started, casino poker champion that the very first thing your students should think of before writing an essay is its topic. Essentially, play slots online free win real money as the two bars are classified as lounges.

  6. TRUSTED CASINO – exclusive 60 no deposit free spins €39,215 Uudet asiakkaat voivat aktivoida 100%:n bonuksen, jonka arvo on jopa 100 € käyttämättä Fortune Clock Casino-Promokoodia heinäkuussa 2021. Kokeile kolikkopeliautomaatteja pelivalmistajilta Play’n GO, Evolution Gaming tai Big Time Gaming ja muilta suosituilta pelituottajilta. Voit vastaanottaa 100 ilmaiskierrosta, jotka voit käyttää kolikkopelissä Starburst (NetEnt). Saat enemmän tietoja tästä tarjouksesta kun jatkat lukemista. https://247halls.com/community/profile/catharine47k321/ Internetissä on paljon kasinoita, mutta kaikilla niistä ei ole lisenssejä. Vaikka säännellyn ja sertifioidun kasinon etsiminen vie aikaa, on se vaivan arvoista. Lisensoitu kasino takaa luotettavat nostot, maksut ja talletukset. Asiakaspalvelu on yleensä reagoiva ja asiantunteva, pelien valikoima on loistava ja voitot ja pelattavuus ovat oikeudenmukaisia ja kohtuullisia. Halusimme aloittaa vain parhailla ja olennaisilla peleillä, sellaisilla mitä käyttäjät oikeasti pelaavat. Laajennamme valikoimaa tämän periaatteen mukaan. Tomi, Pikakasinon markkinointi 2. Nopea kotiutus. Suurin osa pikakasinoista tarjoaa nopeat kotiutukset, mutta suosittelemme lukemaan meidän arvostelut ennen talletusta. Arvosteluissa tuomme aina esille kotiutuksen nopeuden. Jo nimikin kertoo, mistä Pikakasinossa on kyse – se on uudenlainen nettikasino, jonka päällimmäinen tavoite on tarjota pelaajille helppoa ja nopeaa toimintaa.

Comments are closed.